Not The Easy Thing - The Dedication for Our Chocolate Espresso Granola January 23 2015, 11 Comments


This story isn’t really about a car crisis.

Although sometimes a car crisis can throw a huge monkey wrench into your life.

Like when your vehicle has a leaking gas tank that your mechanic informs you is dangerous to drive.

Car trouble is not a life or death concern, but it’s a huge inconvenience when you live in an area where public transportation is non-existent.

But again, this story isn’t about a car crisis.  It’s about the woman who showed up for me when my car crisis happened. That day last November, when I smelled gasoline outside of my car, turned out to be a life changing day for me, not because my car needed a new gas tank but because it reinforced for me how good and generous and helpful people are.

There were many who helped me while my car was in the shop, but Theresa was the center of that universe.  She helped orchestrate the arrival of a salvage gas tank to my mechanic’s and she also insisted…and I mean *insisted* that I take a family car of hers to drive until my car was back on the road.  When a car savvy friend told Theresa that I would need a new fuel pump to ensure the success of the repair, Theresa and her husband had purchased one for me before I knew they did so – because it was needed – and they had my back.

But this story isn’t about gas tanks and fuel pumps.

A few years back, when my marriage ended, a wise friend advised me that I would see a shift in my friendships. There would be those who would "run toward me," presumably to help, and those who would "run away," presumably to avoid the mess, because the breakup of a marriage is messy. My friend was right, by the way, that first year, as a single mother, I saw more friendships evaporate than any other time in my life….BUT…I also saw other friendships grow stronger.  Because my true friends knew that I needed their friendship at that time more than ever.  There were friends who took my kids when they saw I needed the break, there were friends who brought me meals, and of course, there was that friend Kimberly, who offered me a place to live.  

While it’s difficult to compare the magnitude of a car breaking down to a marriage ending, any crisis is messy because it interrupts the daily rhythm of your life.    

When you are as fortunate as I am, friends show up to help put pieces back together, until the rhythm feels familiar once again, or until a new rhythm is established.

This story is, in essence,  about all of you who have "run toward me," during my lifetime, and those of you who perhaps I’ve never met, who have run toward a friend who needed you, because you weren’t afraid to get involved in her mess.

This story is more than a dedication of our new granola blend.  It's a call to action.

Run toward someone who needs help, even if you’ve never done this before, even if you were scared to do so in the past, because messes are messy and things that are messy aren’t fun or pretty or easy.

Helping me was not the easy thing for Theresa to do.  It was the hard thing and the inconvenient thing.  But it’s the hard things and the inconvenient things that often remind us we’re alive. They reaffirm why we're here. They remind us that we exist only within the context of others, and that we are all more connected to each other than not, whether we choose to accept that fact or deny it. 

So go, help your neighbor.  Love someone who needs loving, keeping in mind that love is a verb, and often not a convenient thing to do. 

Thank you for everything and love to all...

Ilene Evans